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Watford (a)
United are at Watford on Saturday for a 12.30pm kick-off (UK time).

It's on Amazon Prime but you don't need a "Prime" account. You can watch it online HERE

Lascelles, Almiron & St Maximin are all expected to be back. But Hayden & Longstaff (S) are both out for the rest of the season.

We need ASM back .... we're a very boring ordinary team without him.
Quick matchday quiz question: Here's a genuine "League table" from this season. Which team is the obvious one that looks out of place and what's the table?

1 Man U
2 Man C
3 Leicester
4 Chelsea
5 Watford
6 Liverpool
7 Tottenham

We'd be joint bottom of this table, by the way, along with Sheffield and Everton.
Peter Reid eats bananas with his feet.
Is it something to do with posession stats?

Could be! But it's not. It's penalties awarded this season.

Man U blazing a trail at the top of the league with 13 (so a penalty every three games...!), us floundering at the bottom with one all season, which of course we missed.

Sadly, success in the Premier League = cheating when you get to the penalty area in spite of the best intentions of VAR. Watford have clocked this and while it can get you into Europe if you've a decent squad, it can stop you being in Norwich's position if you haven't. Watford should be going down but they won't because they're a bunch of cheating cockneys.

So prediction for today - no reason to be terrified in any way or in starstruck awe of Watford so hopefully a return to the passing and possession of Bournemouth and 2 or 3 goals on the back of it. But Watford will get a dodgy penalty.

3-1. Joelinton hat trick.
Peter Reid eats bananas with his feet.
Reminds me of the joke about the Man U fan who was at work so didn't hear how they'd got on at home

He rang his mate to find out

"What was the score today"


"what?! So who missed our penalty?" 


Martin Dúbravka; Javier Manquillo, Jamaal Lascelles, Federico Fernández, Danny Rose; Fabian Schär, Jonjo Shelvey, Matt Ritchie; Allan Saint-Maximin, Miguel Almirón, Dwight Gayle.

Substitutes: Karl Darlow, DeAndre Yedlin, Emil Krafth, Nabil Bentaleb, Matty Longstaff, Valentino Lazaro, Christian Atsu, Yoshinori Muto, Joelinton.
Ah, right. Joelinton on the bench.

In that case, I need to amend my prediction to reflect the sitter he was going to fluff after 10 minutes.

 4-1 to us.
Peter Reid eats bananas with his feet.
Well, I should be used to all this biased commentary but this is a joke! they must have been getting training off the BBC and even Shearer is getting in on the act with his love for Bruce never mind though 1-0 up should have been more I'll await for another couple of goals.

"Everyones Got To Believe In Something. I Believe Ill Have Another Beer" W C Fields.
Faniced Gayle to score, he was 3/1 on SkyBet, decided not to place it, no surprise to see him score considering I didn't back him!

We look the better side but Watford are awful, just like all of those teams at the bottom. I wouldn't put it past them to grab an equaliser but playing the same way as the first half I can see us scoring again. It's nice to play with 11 players for once, and to further highlight just how utterly, utterly useless Joelinton is, Gayle looks a massive upgrade, and we have been needing to replace Gayle for years.

40 million, 40 fucking million on a player who jokes aside, doesn't even look like a 400k player, it's frightening we wasted all that money on a complete donkey who is a downgrade on Joselu.

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