blabbermouth-largeRead in a false dutch accent, with a touch of Sean Connery, as if being interviewed by dutch TV!

Dear Supporter,

How ish life treating you? I hope you are well.

I wanted to contact you to let you know what’sh happening at the club.

Well firshtly there’sh the good newsh: I’ve managed to get my backroom shtaff in place! High Five!

Now here’sh the thing, about theshe playersh we all know we should be shigning. It took me two and a half weeksh longer than it should have to get the backroom shtaff in and they were all unemployed, it’sh going to take a while to get playersh that are contracted to other clubsh.

I was told there’d be money to shpend, I washn’t told what I’d have to do to get it!

All of our playersh have returned for training now and a good day wash had by all.

There’s shome work to be done, particularly with the french ladsh.

We’re having to get back to bashics and Cathro’sh working with them to teach them how to kick a ball.

Honeshtly one kept getting it tangled up in hish feet and falling over and another kept shwinging hish foot at it and mishing all together, it’d take him 10 to 20 attemptsh before he made contact – I’m shending him for an eye tesht as I think he might be shuffering from double vishion.

We alsho had a bored meeting to dishcush transfersh.

Unfortunately “bored” ishn’t a shpelling mishtake! Charnley wash reading from a lisht of playersh we won’t be shigning and Moncur kept interrupting to show old 7mm film footage of him shcoring goalsh.

Carr Shpent the whole meeting looking for hish glashes which were on the top of hish head the whole time.

When I mentioned playersh I wanted, Charnley would shout “Oooh Crumbs DM!” and then break down.

I’m not shure what’sh going on with the DM thing, maybe he thinksh I’m Moyesh?

Well there you are. That’sh my week.

I hope your having fun and that my email makesh you want to buy a sheashon ticket.

Your’sh truly
Shtevey Macc. (Not Bishop)

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